a personal archive · an independent record
a personal record. a life in progress.
stay away if you need everything softened. if you believe you can endure your circumstances, your environment, your own psychology, the parts of yourself you cannot escape, the toxicity around you, and life itself—and still remain hopeful, then welcome.
some entries may contain disturbing or graphic visuals, descriptions or text that could be upsetting to sensitive readers. please proceed with caution.
individual entries may discuss distressing subjects. please consider your wellbeing before continuing.
mom’s phone wasn’t charged; pa is not in city — he called on mine, they talked for 30 mins or something… again it was about money! i was lying like a dead on sofa, staring at the ceiling handling my thoughts of what would happen if i flung a knife towards the apple but the apple was on my head and all this time i was doing it while standing in front of the mirror… it hit mirror and the glass broke into pieces — that’s what went in my imagination…again..!
again circling the room — it’s been 2.5 hrs now; am tired… these fantasies are eating me alive…
hope is a good thing—maybe the best of things; and no good thing ever dies!